Apparently, the Jays have signed Vladimir Guerrero to a minor league deal. In honour of this, I’ve decided to repost my One Sentence Scouting Report from December 23rd:
- They’ve discontinued his hat size (XXXXL, unbendable brim, low enough to hide the fact that his hair line is perilously close to his eyebrows)
- Alex Anthopoulos is mesmerized by Lind’s dreamy
- Adam Lind has stumbled upon some rent control scheme and will be occupying the cleanup spot until he’s a feeble old man
- There’s got to be some unknown metric we’re ALL missing
- The air conditioning at Rogers Centre is broken and they need the gusts of wind provided by his numerous strikeouts to keep the stadium cool during the summer
- The Jays have a warehouse full of #Lindsanity T-Shirts that they’re hoping one day become relevant (assist to Connor McGuire on this one…)
If you examine the stats, I mean relax your focus and stare at the stats until you see the image of a saiboat, you’ll see that Jose Bautista is having an utterly dominant season. Just think about it, if baseball is a game of failure, Bautista has truly mastered it. He’s failing at all facets of the game, offensively at least. If he could find a way to emulate Eric Thames in the outfield, he’d be a complete player. Well done, Jose!